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Ask the Expert: Why is wedding planning so stressful?

05 Oct 2017

In her final instalment for BrideMagazine.co.uk, Marie Haverly of Isabella Weddings Planning and Consultancy advises how to remain cool, calm and collected while wedding planning

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Marie Haverly is our wedding planner-turned-agony-aunt and is back for her final month to answer another bride's burning question.

Q: Why do so many people make that face when you tell them you are planning a wedding, like it’s a painful process? Yes, it’s stressful, but that’s expected... isn’t it?


For many brides, planning a wedding is a wonderful experience: you get to try on lots of lovely dresses, have your hair and make-up done professionally, and you get to look at lots of crafty ideas for your big day. So why does it so often turn into one big ball of stress? There can be many reasons; for most, it could be the first time you’ve had to organise a huge event and if you are not the sort of person who makes decisions easily or multi-tasks with joy, then you will certainly find wedding planning a tad overwhelming at times.

This could also be the first time that all of your friends and family have spent more than a few moments together. Some family don’t meet each other at all except at events such as this, so worrying about how it will affect everyone is something that takes up head space. Spending is also another stressful thing to do, especially if money is tight. Every financial decision is a painful one when you really have to make sure your budget is spent in the right way. What if you make the wrong choice on something? What if I’m being over-charged? Or am I missing something?


Another stressful scenario could be the sheer lack of experience in weddings. How on earth do you choose a supplier? There are so many, so how do you know which one is right for you? I have some tips for helping you work through the maze that is wedding planning:

1. Take your time and start early

The longer you have to plan things, the less rushed you feel into making quick or un-researched decisions.

2. Delegate tasks

Especially those jobs that don’t really interest you. If your brother or friend is a huge music fan, then entrust them to book the band for your reception.

3. Ask for help

Don’t think you have to go it alone. A good wedding planner or experienced friend will offer some advice or perhaps just be an ear to listen to when you feel like you might lose your cool.

4. Don’t overthink things

If you find a great photographer and it feels right to book them then do it and move on to the next task.

5. Go with your gut

Use instinct to drive some of your decisions and if something feels wrong then it may well be, so get some help and don’t rush into anything you are not sure of.

Most of all, remember that this is a party not a performance; you are not there to entertain. The sole purpose of your wedding is to marry the one you love, not to please everyone who comes. Choose your guest list carefully, surround yourself with people you love, and have a wonderful day.

Goodbye for now...

This is my last advice blog for you; it has been wonderful to be part of the Bride team for such a long time. The time has come for me to work on my teaching, my wedding planner training courses and wedding consultancy so that I can offer help and support to those event planners and couples who need a little extra mentoring along the way.


Love to you all,

Images: Lightbox Studios

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