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Ask the Expert: Who should I send save the dates to?

21 Feb 2017

Answering brides' most burning questions, Marie Haverly of Isabella Weddings Planning and Consultancy is back with her second instalment of Ask the Expert

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As a bride-to-be you will have so many burning questions to ask the experts, but knowing who to ask is half the battle. Marie Haverly, wedding planner-turned-agony-aunt, will answer a question each month that many couples ask her, in turn helping even more couples to plan their perfect day stress-free. Marie returns with her second instalment - Who should I send save the dates to?

Q: Friends are telling me I should send out save the dates, but who should I send them to? Do I send them to evening guests as well?


Save the dates are still a fairly new thing as far as invitations go. Many years ago, a bride’s parents would simply send out the invitations a few months before the big day and that was it. Now, to help manage the busy lives we all lead, couples opt to send out a save the date notification to their guests so diaries can be marked and holidays avoided. These are especially recommended if your wedding falls within the summer months, or over a national holiday like a bank holiday weekend.

The dilemma here is who do you send these notifications out to? If you, like many couples, have a daytime guest list and an evening guest list then you could be forgiven for worrying about who might need a save the date. If you send out a notification to the evening guests, will they think they are coming to the whole day? If you don’t send one to evening guests, will they feel left out when they hear from friends that save the dates have been received?


The answer is of course dependant on your day and wedding plans, however I would suggest either sending out an informal save the date without any main details (just the date, for now) to everyone, that way your guests know that the date is important but they don’t have any preconceptions of what they are invited to. This is useful if you haven’t quite decided who is coming to the day and who will be an evening guest.

Or, if you are sure of your guest list and how it is to be split up, you could send out two types of save the dates; one to the daytime guests indicating that they will be invited to the entire day and then a ‘save the evening’ notification out to your potential evening guest list (this might be work colleagues and distant relatives etc). However, bear in mind that if you want to move an evening guest up to the daytime guest list you might have problems; however, this can be overcome by early planning.

There are many ways to notify guests: you could design and print your own stationery, save the pennies and send out a fun email, or share a social media post – all depending on your guests. Be sure that everyone who needs one does get one though, especially those friends or relatives who don’t have internet access.

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