A match made in Disney; How to beat bridal insecurities
02 Jan 2019
Following her Disney-themed engagement, Catherine Hiley begins her wedding journey and tackles a concern that most brides face - body hang-ups and low self-esteem
I have always been rather afraid of getting married. Strangely enough, it’s not the idea of tying yourself to one person for the rest of my life that's always put me off. When you're with someone as lovely as my fiancé, the idea of being married is actually pretty fantastic.
But the thing is, I'm just not cut out to be a bride. I'm shy, riddled with insecurities and I can't make a decision to save my life. To make matters worse, I'm also a people-pleaser, I hate being centre of attention and I care far too much about what other people think of me.
Yet despite how ill-qualified I am to be marrying the kindest man in the world, five years on from our first drink together where he told me he would marry me, we’re now engaged and planning our wedding for next summer. And of course, the pressure is already getting to me.
So here are some tips and tricks for anyone out there who, like me, is in danger of letting her insecurities ruin what should be a really happy time.
1. Make sure you have the right people around you
Whether you're overwhelmed by your ever-growing to-do list or your self-esteem is taking a battering, reach out to your friends and family. They'll be only too happy to help you plan and make decisions. And they'll give you a much-needed confidence boost when you're feeling low.
Above: My bridesmaids
2. Avoid anyone who makes you feel bad
The last thing you need when you're planning a wedding is bad vibes. If a shop assistant in a bridal store makes a nasty comment, take your custom elsewhere. Maybe losing out on that commission will be enough to encourage them to be nicer in future. Or if a relative can't resist making snide remarks, keep them at arm's length as much as you can. You don't need that kind of negativity.
3. Listen to others but don’t get bulldozed
When it comes to weddings, everyone has opinions and that can be really helpful in moderation. But don't forget that it's your day, so always make decisions that you and your fiancé are happiest with.
4. Don’t put yourself under too much pressure
It's supposed to be the most important day of your life. No pressure, right? It can be so easy to fall into the trap of obsessing over every minute detail to make sure it's perfect. But just remember that so long as you and your fiancé get married, it will still be the best day ever. No one will look back in years to come and wonder why the sashes on the chairs don't exactly match the shade of the bridesmaids' dresses.
5. Choose a dress that makes you feel good
It's so important to wear something on the day that makes you feel confident. Keep trying on dresses until you find the right one. And don't worry about the sales assistants seeing you in your underwear. They do this all day every day with countless other women and they really won't be judging you. If they do, refer back to point one and get the hell out of that store.
6. Remember that the person you’re marrying loves you just as you are
Most importantly of all, keep reminding yourself that your fiancé loves you just as you are. After all, they wouldn't be marrying you if they didn't.
Next month, I share my quest for the dress - will I find the one?