The father of the bride speech

10 Nov 2014

The father of the bride speech

The only guide you’ll ever need to write a killer Father of the bride speech by Rachel Sprules, Wedding Co-ordinator at Longleat House, Safari and Adventure Park

Finally, after months of preparation, payments and planning, the day of the wedding is dawning. Your luxury wedding venue is booked, the dress is chosen and the caterers are ready. Nothing is more guaranteed to make your heart burst with pride than walking your little girl up the aisle to marry the man she loves. But the ceremony is just the start of it.

Traditionally, at the reception, the father of the bride is the first one to make a speech to the wedding guests. Closely followed by the best man and groom, the father of the bride is usually seen as a bit of a warm up act, and something to be endured rather than enjoyed. However, with a little effort you can make sure your moment in the spotlight is something to be remembered, and for all the right reasons.

What to include in your speech

Whether you intend to make it short and sweet or to really reap the benefits of the spotlight, your speech will need to contain some basic elements if it is to be in keeping with tradition. These are:

1.       The intro: You need to introduce yourself, but it doesn’t have to be reminiscent of an AA meeting. Tell them your name and maybe crack a small joke to make yourself feel relaxed.

2.       The welcome: Make a formal welcome to everyone and thank them for coming. Try to mention, in particular, the bride’s mother and the groom’s parents too.

3.       Your daughter: She’s made you pay for it, and now’s your chance to get a little of your own back on her! Recall a funny anecdote from her youth, or simply tell her how proud you are of the woman she’s become.

4.       Your son in law: Formally welcome the groom to your family in any way you feel appropriate. You can mention how you felt about him when you first met him, or a moment when you’ve been particularly glad he’s around.

5.       Parting wisdom: As the elder speaker at the wedding, you should impart some of your wisdom to the happy couple about maintaining a healthy marriage or living a happy life. This is also a good place to throw in some jokes about wives, weddings or life in general, just as long as it doesn’t upset your own wife!

6.       The toast: Finish up by asking everyone to stand and raise a glass to the happy couple. No doubt the best man will do something similar at the end of his speech too, but it’s the traditional way to close yours.

Top tips for making it fun

The father of the bride might be a mature gentleman, but that doesn’t mean your speech has to be dull. Here are some top tips to make it as enjoyable as possible for everyone involved.

·         Timing is everything

At many weddings, fathers of brides have been known to drone on for some time. And that’s only fair – after all, you’re the one that funded the party. However, to keep things fun, engaging and to avoid Aunty Doreen actually falling asleep in her soup, aim for a speech that lasts around six to seven minutes in total. Practice reading your speech through at your normal speaking pace to gauge how long this really is.

·          Keep it clean

Jokes are a great way to break the ice and loosen up the crowd, but don’t be too focussed on being funny. You’re the elder statesman of the speakers today, so you can afford to be a bit more conservative in your words. That doesn’t mean you have to be dull though; a few jibes at the expense of the wedding or your daughters love of spending money are fine, just don’t go to close to the bone. Leave it to the best man to really roast up the groom, and focus on welcoming your new son-in-law to the family and toasting the happy couple.

·         Hold on to your emotions

This is such a big occasion for you and all of your family, it can be easy to get caught up in the emotion of it all. Do your best to keep things light and happy, as nobody likes to see a grown man in tears. If there are some personal things you would like to say to your daughter but don’t want to include in your speech, write them down for her to read on the day instead.

The last word

Ask any public speaker what their biggest fear is, and they’ll pretty much always say it’s forgetting where they are in their speech. Fumbling over your words and getting a bit lost is nothing to be ashamed of, provided you can make a quick recovery and get back on track OK. Take your speech on cue cards with bullet pointed reminders of what you want to talk about, rather than printing it all out in full. This will give you a more natural delivery, and will save you having to read through several paragraphs to find your place after getting lost.

If you do get stuck, use the moment to clear your throat, take a drink of water or give your daughter a kiss. These moments might seem like a lifetime to you, but will only feel like a natural pause to your audience, and will give you the breathing space you need to get things back on track. Take your time, don’t panic and try to enjoy your moment of fame.

 

Rachel Sprules is the Wedding Co-ordinator at the esteemed Longleat House, Safari and Adventure ParkHer experience in the industry allow her to dispense invaluable information to all her bridal party and the best part they can play during a couples’ special day.