Five things you should never say to a bride-to-be

24 Jul 2017

Have you experienced any of these irritating comments and questions so far?

Image: Miacheslav Boiko/ Shutterstock

As a bride-to-be it is your prerogative to plan your wedding your way and enjoy every second of being engaged. However, when inquisitive, interfering or irritating friends and family members come knocking there is no denying that your temper will reach boiling point and you'll struggle to bite your tongue. Here are five things that someone can say to tip you over the edge and suggestions on how to deal with your burning rage.

1. "It's up to you"

While most of the time you'll be happy to do things your way, sometimes it's nice to hear what others have to say... when their opinion is invited, of course. However, when you do allow people to proffer their suggestions, the last response you want to hear is "It's up to you" (especially if it comes from your other half). 

How to handle it: Yes, it is up to you but you have specifically asked for their input, so ask them again. Calmly explain that their opinion is valued and you are interested to hear their thoughts. If your other half has uttered these anger-inducing words, then don't hold back - it's as much their wedding day as it is yours; no involvement, no wedding. 

2. "Calm down"

Calm down?! When you have a wedding to plan for 50+ guests, suppliers to pay, a dress to decide on, and an unhelpful partner who can't fathom the concept of planning, remaining cool, calm and collected is simply not an option. 

How to handle it: Close your eyes, take a deep breath and move the conversation on before you erupt.

3. "Only two months to go"

The prospect of someone telling you on a month by month, week by week or day by day basis how much longer until your wedding fills you with dread. If you didn't already know how little time you have left to plan your wedding day, then someone else reminding you is an argument waiting to happen. 

How to handle it: Respond calmly and politely: "Yes, there are only two months to go and I have a lot left to do. I even have a calendar in my kitchen counting down the days... just incase I forget." Sarcasm completely and utterly intended. 

4. "Can I see your dress?"

Of course everyone will want to see you in your dress, but there are some guests who think they are extra special and will want to get a glimpse of it before the day - just so they can tell others that they have seen it and won't spoil the surprise for anyone else. 

How to handle it: You would like to say: "Are you a member of the bridal party? No. So you can forget an exclusive preview," but perhaps you ought to say: "While I would love to show you my dress, I would rather keep it a surprise until the big day."

5. "Don't forget..."

You have lists upon lists and spreadsheets upon spreadsheets, but your nearest and dearest will still doubt your organisation. You'll constantly be reminded to inform the caterers of dietary requirements, confirm and confirm again the timings with the venue, and double-check the florist's arrival time the morning of the wedding... not to mention all the trivial details.

How to handle it: If "I have it covered" isn't enough to convince them, show them your spreadsheets and even give them a copy to put their mind at rest. Or, if you're really brave, assign friends and family members the tasks to complete themselves so they don't feel the need to ask you every 10 seconds.